Kawaii Jaganshi
by kitsunelover
Summary: Sequel to Pretty Youko. Hiei wants revenge on Kurama. He gets it. Plus a minificlet at the end!


Kawaii Jaganshi  
  
Disclaimer: Why does everyone always put up disclaimers? Do we really think that the people who own these things are really going to come reading these and sue anyone who doesn't state they don't own whatever? Hm . . . ah, well, you never know. I don't own YYH. ^^;;  
  
A/N: Those of you who have seen the Lively Little Hiei-chan doujinshis, picture Lively Little Hiei-chan when I get to describing his appearance. ^^  
  
And look for the mini-ficlet at the end! ^_~  
  
After the little "Youko incident," as Kurama liked to call it, he had apologized to all his friends. Most of them had shrugged it off, laughing nervously, probably because they were too embarrassed of their own conduct. Koenma had made a secret agreement with Kurama not to have him punished as long as Kurama kept the secret of his fetish for . . . uh, sucking things.  
  
And since the "Youko incident" was never mentioned, most of them tried to forget it. Except for Hiei.  
  
Hiei was bitter. He felt utterly humiliated for fainting, and could barely keep himself from punching Kurama's face in whenever he saw Kurama smiling. He was sure Kurama was laughing at him inside.  
  
So, what else was there for him to do but get revenge?  
  
He wasn't going to flounce around in ridiculously tight leather pants like Kurama did. Unlike some people he could think of, Hiei wasn't some slut who threw himself at anything alive and breathing.  
  
Within two weeks, Hiei had devised a perfectly brilliant plan that was sure to work, and as a bonus, didn't involve him dressed in perverted clothing or acting like a prostitute.  
  
However, there were some drawbacks.  
  
But that couldn't be helped. Besides, he'd get to knock everyone else out, not just Kurama, and that way he'd show everyone he was just as good as Kurama.  
  
On the day that he finally deemed to be suitable to put his great plan into action, he got into blue overalls, a black shirt, and those annoying baby shoes that squeak as you walk. Once dressed thus, he got in front of a mirror and performed a series of weird contortions with his face, the purpose of these being to make his eyes look larger, his face chubbier, and his mouth smaller. Now he looked a like a small child. And, only stopping to grab a lollipop, which he stuffed into the front pocket of his overalls, he headed to Yusuke's house. He was saving Kurama for last.  
  
He rung the doorbell, and Atusko answered, clearly a little tipsy.  
  
"Hiei? Is that you?" She peered down at him blearily.  
  
"Yes," he said, trying to sound as perky and childlike as possible. "Can you tell me where Yusuke is?"  
  
Atsuko beamed down at him. "Of course! Yusuke's at the park with Keiko. They're spending quality time together!"  
  
"Thank you," he chirped.  
  
She smiled down fondly at him, and reached down to pat his head. Hiei fought the urge to blast her into smithereens. Instead, he stood on his tiptoes and planted a butterfly kiss on her cheek.  
  
"Oh . . . so cute!" Atsuko squealed, reaching up to touch where he had kissed her.  
  
Hiei forced the most adorable smile he could muster to his face.  
  
Atsuko sank down, muttering something about "cuteness."  
  
"Hn." Hiei kicked her inside the house and shut the door. He didn't want Yusuke coming after him later if his mother came to any harm.  
  
In the park, Hiei found Keiko and Yusuke sitting on a bench under a tree, holding hands and giggling. He toddled in front of them, and braced himself.  
  
"Hiei? What the hell are you doing?" Yusuke burst out laughing.  
  
"Aww . . . you look so cute, Hiei!" Keiko seemed to have forgotten Hiei had once kidnapped her and tried to turn her into a demon, because she was gazing at him with adoring misty eyes.  
  
Hiei picked a flower and handed it to Keiko.  
  
"For you," he said, attempting to sound bashful.  
  
"Oh my gosh! Thank you, Hiei!" Keiko reached out to enfold him in a hug.  
  
He hugged her back, and afterwards, smiled innocently. Keiko pressed the daisy to her heart and swooned.  
  
Yusuke didn't even seem to notice what happened to Keiko. He just kept laughing madly at Hiei.  
  
A tic was throbbing at the corner of Hiei's eye. He longed to strangle Yusuke.  
  
He kept his cool, however, and whined sadly, "Why are you laughing at me, Yusuke-san?"  
  
Yusuke started pointing now, along with his hysterical laughter. He appeared to be trying to say something.  
  
Hiei, who had been practicing acting ever since he'd gotten this idea, filled his eyes with tears. His bottom lip trembled, and he stuck it out.  
  
Yusuke stopped laughing immediately. "Oh my god!" he cried. "You're not really Hiei! What have you done with the real Hiei?" He shook Hiei's shoulders.  
  
"I am Hiei," Hiei insisted plaintively. "And you're not being very nice."  
  
Yusuke looked strangely at Hiei. "Uh . . . maybe you should come with me, Hiei. I think we need to get you some help . . ."  
  
"Go somewhere? Yay! Let's go somewhere, Yusuke-san!" Hiei lit up and grabbed Yusuke's hand earnestly.  
  
Yusuke appeared to have decided to just play along until he could find out what was going on, for he smiled nervously and said, "Okay. Let's go."  
  
"You're my best friend, Yusuke-san!" Hiei said enthusiastically, pressing Yusuke's hand.  
  
"Really?" Yusuke smiled again, a bit less nervously this time.  
  
He's cracking, Hiei thought grimly. Just a little more . . .  
  
"Can we go to the zoo, Yusuke-san?" Hiei opened his eyes very wide, and looked the very picture of childhood naivete.  
  
"Uhm . . . well . . .."  
  
"I want to see the aminals!"  
  
"Aminals . . ." repeated Yusuke faintly, smiling lopsidedly at Hiei.  
  
"Pwease?" Here Hiei put on his best pouty/hopeful face.  
  
"Sure . . ." answered Yusuke weakly, smiling dazedly now. "Whatever you like, Hiei-chan . . ." He swayed and then hit the ground with a thump.  
  
Hiei, disgusted that it had taken Yusuke so long to faint, refused to carry his and Keiko's inert bodies to somewhere safe, so he just left Yusuke on the sidewalk. He'd heard Kurama brag (Kurama being his best friend, so he'd been the only one to hear the entire story) that it had taken less than a minute for him to knock Yusuke out.  
  
Hn. Kurama. Just thinking of him made his vision go red. He breathed deeply, trying to relax and unclench his fists.  
  
Hiei wasn't sure that he wanted to go to Kuwabara. Sure, Kuwabara thought cats were cute, and might have a better appreciation of cuteness than Yusuke would, but it would probably kill him if Kuwabara laughed at him, dressed as he was. But he had to, he resolved firmly, if he was going to equal Kurama.  
  
So he went to Kuwabara's house, and let himself in through a window. There he found Kuwabara in the bathroom, gazing at himself in the mirror, grunting such things as "Look at you, handsome!", giggling inanely, and making a series of grimaces that he evidently took to be dazzling smiles. Hiei was sure Kurama did exactly the same thing, except that when he did it, it was a lot less painful to watch.  
  
Hiei sighed deeply, then walked in to face Kuwabara.  
  
"Ugh!" Kuwabara whirled around and stared in horror at Hiei. "Get out of here, you perve!" While he was in the middle of shoving Hiei out of the bathroom, he suddenly realized how Hiei looked.  
  
"Damn! What happened to you?" Kuwabara started laughing like a hyena.  
  
Hiei could barely suppress his rage. Kuwabara collapsed in fits of laughter, pounding his fist on the tiles.  
  
"Kuwa-chan!" How it galled him to call Kuwabara by that name. "Stop laughing! It's mean!"  
  
Kuwabara kept howling with mirth.  
  
"You're hurting my feelings!" Hiei sulked.  
  
Tears were now running freely down Kuwabara's face.  
  
Hiei adopted his pouty face again. At this, Kuwabara managed to gasp, "Damn . . . I wish . . . I had a . . . camera!"  
  
"Kuuuuuuwaaaa-chaaaan!" Hiei complained.  
  
At no response, Hiei reached down to tug at Kuwabara. Kuwabara flopped over, clutching at his stomach in pain from all the laughter. It didn't look like he was going to stop any time soon.  
  
Hiei scowled. Screw this. He wasn't going to waste his time here any longer. He ripped the ward off his Jagan and used his telepathic powers to give Kuwabara's mind a little "push" into the state of unconsciousness.  
  
As soon as Kuwabara stopped laughing, still with a goofy grin on his face, Hiei's face grew darker still. He went into Kuwabara's room and found a black felt-tipped marker. Then he returned to the bathroom and scrawled "Baka" in large messy letters on Kuwabara's forehead.  
  
He began to smirk. And after a moment's thought, leaned down and wrote "Ugly bastard" on one cheek, and "Retarded loser" on the other. He would have added more, but he was on a timetable.  
  
It slightly disconcerted Hiei that he had used his powers to knock Kuwabara out, because it was cheating, but then he relieved his conscience by telling himself that no one need ever know. Now, where was Shizuru . . . ?  
  
As he headed down the hall, he heard tittering, and followed it into a room where she was watching TV. He stepped into the room.  
  
"Hello, Shizuru-chan," he greeted her happily (or at least looking happy).  
  
"Hiei?" Shizuru's eyebrows shot up.  
  
"Yep." He nodded for emphasis. Already her eyes were softening.  
  
"What are you doing?" Without waiting for her question to be answered, she continued excitedly, "You look so cute!"  
  
"Really? Thank you, Shizuru-chan!" Hiei beamed.  
  
"Can I have a hug?" she asked.  
  
"Sure!" He stepped over and hugged her.  
  
"Oh, you're so lovable! I just want to squeeze you to death!" Shizuru shrilled. Her arms tightened.  
  
"Ack - ," Hiei's eyes went wide, and his face started turning blue.  
  
Finally, she let go. "You're just like a teddy bear," she gushed.  
  
Hiei couldn't think of anything else to do, so he started jumping up and down and clapping his hands. The squeaking sounds of his shoes were driving him mad.  
  
"Yay!" he cheered falsely. Then he paused, his eyes large. "Wait, Shizuru- chan . . . is that good?"  
  
Shizuru made a queer high-pitched noise and fell over backward on her bed.  
  
Hiei was feeling very upset now. It had taken him forever to get Yusuke and Shizuru. He'd show the world he had just as many skills as Kurama! And less promiscuous skills too!  
  
On the whole, he was discovering he liked girls a lot more than guys. They were into the whole "cute" thing, and much easier to get.  
  
One thing was bothering him, however. He didn't really want to do this to Yukina. On this issue, he struggled with his conscience for a long time. Finally, he decided that he wasn't really hurting her, and he had to do it for his pride's sake.  
  
He found her unexpectedly in the same park where Yusuke and Keiko had been, clucking and smiling at a flock of birds that were crowded around her. She laughed happily as she tossed out handfuls of birdseed.  
  
"Yukina-chan?" he asked meekly, trotting in front of her.  
  
"Hiei-san? It's nice to see you here . . .." Yukina's pretty crimson eyes were riveted on him, and she looked only a little puzzled by his strange get-up.  
  
Hiei's heart melted like a chocolate bar kept in some grubby little boy's pocket for far too long. He wanted to rush up to her and bawl his eyes out on her shoulder. But he restrained those crazy urges and merely blinked confusedly.  
  
"I think I'm lost, Yukina-chan," he stated hesitantly.  
  
"Lost?" Yukina's face filled with concern. "How can you be lost, Hiei? Are you trying to get somewhere?"  
  
"Um . . . uh . . ." Hiei's eyes darted back and forth, as he desperately tried to come up with something.  
  
"Hiei?" Yukina held out a hand to him.  
  
"Oh, Yukina!" Hiei broke down and dashed into her arms. Once there, he clung to her like a drowning rat does to a lifesaver.  
  
"Shh," she pacified him, stroking his hair, and acting very motherly.  
  
After sobbing a little while in Yukina's embrace, Hiei sniffed and raised his head.  
  
"I - I'm sorry, Yukina," he stammered. Internally, he was cursing himself for such a show of weakness. What if Yukina realized he was . . . her brother?  
  
"It's okay, Hiei," she said soothingly. "Is there something you'd like to tell me?"  
  
Hiei gulped. "Well - uh . . .."  
  
Yukina waited patiently for him to go on.  
  
"No." In order to stop Yukina from asking uncomfortable questions any more, Hiei poured his heart and soul into one disarming smile.  
  
Yukina slumped down with a small smile on her face, and Hiei caught her carefully before she could fall. He needed to take her somewhere safe, where he would feel all right leaving her for a while. Kuwabara's was out of the question obviously; Hiei felt that no brother in his right mind would leave his insensate sister alone in the Kuwabara house. For the same reason, Hiei wouldn't even consider leaving Yukina at Kurama's house - Kurama had glossed over the details of his conquest of Yukina, but Hiei wouldn't trust Kurama alone with any living being, male or female, no matter their degree of attractiveness. Kurama had recently proved that he was most unparticular when choosing his victims.  
  
So the only choice left to Hiei was Yusuke's house. He carried Yukina gently to Yusuke's house and deposited her in Yusuke's own bed, where he tucked her in attentively, and in a moment of weakness, allowed himself some sentimental thoughts as he lightly tucked a stray strand of sea-green hair behind her ear. Anxious to dispel the lingering feelings of guilt in his heart, he reassured himself that he would be at extreme pains to make it up to Yukina afterwards. Moreover, he knew he would cut off his right arm to make her happy, so with the matter settled, he left her.  
  
***  
  
In Reikai, Koenma and Botan had again noticed disturbing occurrences in Ningenkai.  
  
"What is wrong with these people?" Koenma asked in exasperation, massaging his temples.  
  
Botan's eyes, however, were looking tenderly at Hiei. "Koenma . . . he's so cute this way!"  
  
Koenma glared at Botan. "Cute or not, he's a menace to society. He's making people drop like flies!"  
  
Botan sighed. "You said Kurama was a menace to society . . .."  
  
"Because he was," snapped Koenma.  
  
Botan's expression grew ecstatically vacant. "But he was sooo sexy," she objected faintly, staring off into space with a silly grin on her face.  
  
"Being sexy isn't everything," Koenma said shortly, and not without some degree of jealousy in his voice.  
  
Botan cast a pleading look at Koenma.  
  
"No," he averred firmly. "Go and deal with Hiei. And see to it you do better this time."  
  
Botan stuck her tongue out at Koenma, then left.  
  
"Women," sighed Koenma, shaking his head.  
  
***  
  
Botan, whirring through the pleasant, summery sky, spied Hiei trotting along to Kurama's house, and alighted in front of him.  
  
"Botan-chan!" squeaked Hiei, doing some quick thinking. "I missed you!"  
  
Botan's heart fluttered, and she forgot everything except for the precious little bundle of cuteness in front of her. "Come here, darling," she crooned, holding her arms out to him.  
  
"Where were you?" he whimpered into her shoulder as she hugged him.  
  
"I'm sorry," wailed Botan, snuggling him fiercely. "I'm sorry!"  
  
"It's okay," he said, smiling timidly. "Promise me you'll never leave me again, though, okay?"  
  
"Anything for you, Hiei," Botan acquiesced immediately.  
  
Hiei smiled again, and reached up to nuzzle her with the tip of his tiny nose.  
  
"That tickles, doesn't it, Botan-chan?"  
  
And with a dazed "What an angel . . .", Botan dissolved into a gelatinous heap.  
  
Smirking, Hiei disentangled himself from Botan's body. Koenma would no doubt be coming next. He knew just what to do with Koenma, thank god.  
  
You see, Kurama hadn't exactly kept his promise to Koenma. While bragging to Hiei, he had confided the secret of Koenma's fetish to Hiei. Which is why Hiei had brought a lollipop.  
  
Koenma, as Hiei accurately predicted, was next, and he was furious.  
  
"Hiei!" he raged, arriving in a whirl of rumpled scarlet and blue, "tell me what, precisely, are you doing? Is this some sort of collaboration with Kurama? Are you both determined to run around causing havoc and unconsciousness?"  
  
Forget A-bombs, Hiei thought with a grim sort of satisfaction. We're the new weapons of mass destruction.  
  
"What's next? Drag-queen Yusuke on the rampage?"  
  
Hiei noted with interest the way Koenma's pacifier bobbed up and down as he raved.  
  
"I won't have this from you! You are not getting off the hook! I'll-?  
  
Hiei interrupted. "Actually, Koenma-sama, Kurama and I didn't plan anything together."  
  
Koenma fixed his eyes on Hiei's face.  
  
"We're just . . . having fun," Hiei continued smoothly, in a childish voice, and with big eyes, as he slipped the lollipop from his pocket.  
  
"Having fun," Koenma repeated blankly, his gaze now on the lollipop.  
  
Hiei tried not to show his glee.  
  
"Yes," he replied, unwrapping the candy.  
  
Koenma's knees were shaking. A good sign.  
  
"By the way," he said, as if struck by sudden inspiration, "do you think I look cute like this, Koenma-sama?" He slid the lollipop into his mouth and sucked with relish, observing Koenma closely.  
  
"I - I - ," Koenma stammered. He was obviously having trouble breathing.  
  
Hiei pulled the lollipop out of his mouth with a pop.  
  
"Very cute," Koenma agreed vacantly, sliding down with a starry expression.  
  
Hiei made a mental note to thank Kurama later. Now he had blackmail material to hold over Koenma as well. He grinned. Speaking of Kurama . . .  
  
He entered Kurama's house with some trepidation. Ever since the "Youko incident," he had vowed never to trust Kurama again. Stealthily making his way up to Kurama's room, he met with no one, and heard nothing. This did nothing to allay his suspicions.  
  
Imagine his surprise when he set foot in Kurama's room and saw only Kurama sleeping peacefully on his bed, his chest rising and falling softly with each breath. Hiei was immediately on the alert for some unfortunate trap or other form of treachery. There was no way someone capable of such deviant behavior as Kurama could look so innocent, even in sleep.  
  
But nothing happened. Kurama just kept sleeping. It was at that moment that Hiei noticed a large stack of textbooks on the dresser (he also noticed an abnormally large mirror). Kurama had apparently been on one of his late-night studying binges. Which was another funny thing about Kurama. Atsuko went on alcoholic binges, Keiko and Shizuru went on crazy shopping sprees, and as for himself, he went off on killing rampages. Everyone got their own high somehow. As for Kurama, he read.  
  
Which, after Hiei considered for a minute, was one of Kurama's more eccentric but harmless traits. He'd take the reading/studying-binge Kurama over hormonally high/obsessed with sex-binge Kurama any day.  
  
Now that he stopped to think, actually, this was fortuitous. Hiei smirked. He knew how to turn this situation to his advantage.  
  
He began by looking around for rope. He was going to pay Kurama back exactly; tit for tat.  
  
To his very great surprise (and horror) he found lots of rope, and several pairs of handcuffs in Kurama's room. He didn't like to think what Kurama was doing with such equipment.  
  
So he didn't think about it. Instead, he handcuffed and tied Kurama to the bedposts. Then he pinched Kurama to wake him up. Hard, of course, because Hiei was still extremely bitter.  
  
Kurama woke up immediately. When he saw what Hiei had done to him, his green eyes flashed with delight, and he asked, quivering with anticipation, "Are you here to pay me back for what I did last time, Hiei?"  
  
Hiei was uneasy at how eager Kurama looked. "Yes," he answered curtly.  
  
"Really? Then let's get started!" Kurama exclaimed. "Just promise me you'll be gentle," he added slyly, leering.  
  
Hiei coughed. "Um, Kurama, I'm not here for that."  
  
"Oh." Kurama's face fell.  
  
"No," Hiei continued triumphantly, "I'm here to make you faint with my superior cuteness!"  
  
Kurama looked blank.  
  
"Hiei . . . I . . . ah," Kurama said, rather inarticulately. "What . . .are you talking about?"  
  
"What do you mean?" asked Hiei crossly. "Are you saying I'm not cute?"  
  
"Well, from one guy to another guy -," began Kurama cautiously.  
  
"I'll prove that I'm cute!" yelled Hiei immaturely. The act of being puerile had been ingrained into his nature.  
  
Kurama raised his eyebrows. "Oh - kay."  
  
"Hn." Hiei stuck out his tongue.  
  
"Why don't you prove it, then?" asked Kurama skeptically.  
  
"Fine," replied Hiei, beginning to smile in that absolutely adorable and completely trusting way that only little children smile.  
  
Kurama swallowed. He wasn't really nervous, he assured himself. How bad could this be?  
  
***  
  
"And when I get all steamed up, then I shout, 'Tip me over and pour me out!'" Hiei sang in a falsetto - no easy feat for the normally gruff- voiced fire demon. As he sang, he made the accompanying motions.  
  
Then he bowed. "How did you like my rendition of 'I'm A Little Teapot', Kurama?" His eyes looked extremely hopeful - the sort of hopeful look found in small children that only people with microscopic black hearts are able to crush with scathing words.  
  
So Kurama, not being heartless, could only say, "It was beautiful, Hiei." He couldn't resist those cute hopeful looks. Hiei had made his eyes go wider than Atsuko's when Kurama had made her faint.  
  
Hiei smirked. He would dearly love to get out a whip (preferably one of real leather) and start punishing Kurama, but this was working just fine. Kurama's eyes were shining, and Hiei knew that with Kurama's strongly feminine side, it was only a matter of time before he gave in.  
  
"Would you like to see my ballet performance now, Kurama-san?"  
  
Kurama nodded dumbly.  
  
Hiei smiled and lifted his arms to pirouette. Then after a series of other positions, he balanced on his left toe and leaned forward in an arabesque.  
  
"Ta-da!" Hiei leapt down in front of Kurama, his ballet performance complete.  
  
"Did you like that?"  
  
Kurama said slowly, "Uhuh."  
  
Hiei smiled. "Now would you like me to do my impression of a bunny?" He put his hands together and made little hopping motions.  
  
"A bunny . . .?" Kurama's head fell back against the pillows as he drifted into unconsciousness.  
  
Hiei resisted the urge to leap on Kurama's bed and yell, "I am Hiei-sama! Hear me roar!"  
  
He had shown them. Oh yes, he had shown them all.  
  
A/N: cute!Hiei is soooo lovable! Can you just imagine those puppy eyes looking at you? Ahhh . . . Hiei the caring big brother is reeeeaaally cute too . . . *melts*  
  
Because I know most of you wanted a sexy!Hiei and more of sexy!Kurama, this little mini-fic I offer to you along with the main fic, just because I'm so generous. =)  
  
The Hotness  
  
You're walking on the sidewalk, not thinking anything in particular, when all of a sudden, two forms leap out of the bushes in front of you. One of them is absolutely the most beautiful thing you've ever seen, with stunning silver tresses, slender, long limbs, and amazingly delicate features. The other isn't as pretty or tall, but there's something about that gleam in his ruby eyes that you know you like, and his spiky hair is just so appealing.  
  
The short one cries exultantly, "We've got you!"  
  
You start in surprise. Do you know these people?  
  
Then they actually look at you.  
  
"Wait a second . . ." mutters the short one.  
  
"I told you it was too early," the other one pouts childishly.  
  
"Hn."  
  
And with no further words to you, they turn. How rude, you think. But then you finally (being the unobservant person you are) notice their clothes. Spiky Hair is wearing a black satin shirt with a gaping unbuttoned collar that reveals a lovely creamy chest, and enormously tight black leather pants. In fact, they're so tight they just take your breath away by looking at them. He's got the satin shirt half tucked in, half out, so it gives him the look of having just got out of bed: tousled, yet elegant; rumpled, yet sexy. Especially since these pants are definitely the low cut variety - they dip alarmingly below the waist.  
  
Silverlocks is dressed in this bizarre, but really kinky leather outfit. It's skintight and black, too, and it has lots of straps and buckles. How the hell did he ever get into that thing in the first place? (Though perhaps the more pertinent question is: How to get him out of it?) He's also wearing this jet leather collar with sharp spikes around his neck. Damn.  
  
So, without thinking, you yell, "Wait! Don't go!"  
  
Slowly, they turn to face you.  
  
You can tell they know exactly why you don't want them to go from the identical evil grins on their faces. But to your relief, they don't seem to want to go either.  
  
"She's not bad-looking, Kurama," Spiky Hair says, looking you up and down.  
  
"You're right," muses Kurama thoughtfully, eyeing you with interest. "In fact, Hiei, I think she looks pretty good."  
  
You try not to look too hopeful.  
  
"You want to come have some fun?" Kurama asks suggestively.  
  
Do you ever! You nod, trying not to look too pathetic now.  
  
Hiei smirks, and without further words, scoops you up in his muscular arms, and zips off.  
  
He's moving too fast for you to see where you're going, but you enjoy the feeling of being tucked in against Hiei's chest, and hope the ride doesn't end too soon.  
  
But it does. When he lets you down, in a chair, you're in a large room with a stage in front. Then the two of them stand there and look at you.  
  
"You know, Hiei," says Kurama lazily, "I don't really feel like sharing this one."  
  
Hiei reciprocates with an evil grin. "Neither do I."  
  
"Why don't we let her choose?" Kurama smirks. Evidently he's pretty confident he knows who you'll pick.  
  
"Sure," Hiei says, just as confident.  
  
And before you can put in a word edgewise, the two of them get up on the stage.  
  
"Pick me," Kurama urges breathily, "I come in two forms. If you select me, it'll be like a 'buy one get one free' deal. And," he says, winking at you, "my other form's just as hot as this one." He runs his long hands luxuriously through his hair, which undulates like water.  
  
"Don't listen to him," Hiei coaxes devilishly. "I'm a fire demon. If you pick me, I'll always be burning for you. I'll make you feel warm and fuzzy inside, anytime, all the time."  
  
Your jaw has fallen gradually all the time. You didn't know you could open your mouth that wide. Whoever they were really waiting in ambush for, you don't really care anymore, but you're indescribably grateful that you're here instead of them.  
  
Kurama takes out a whip and flicks it on the stage. It makes a loud, scary cracking sound. You shiver. Whether from fear or anticipation, you can't tell. Probably both. To the side, you can tell that Hiei is getting irritated from the way you keep staring at Kurama.  
  
Hiei snaps his fingers, and weirdly, fountains come on and drench the stage. You watch him up there; he's obviously enjoying it.  
  
His eyes are closed, and there's a funny little half-smile on his face. The water droplets caress his skin, and plaster his shirt to his chest. The effect is stunning. And there are lots of tiny sparkling beads on his pants too. Despite the water, his gravity-defying hair is as pert as ever.  
  
You turn away, trying to breathe. You know you'd faint if you looked too long. That chest . . . mmm . . ..  
  
And then you catch sight of Kurama. He's bending his knees slightly, ducking from the water, and as he does so, his hips gyrate ever so hotly. His hands go up to his hair, and flip it out. Then he shakes his head with abandon (like those Herbal Essences models!) and millions of water droplets fly off, glinting like diamonds in the light. And then, his slim hands stroke his entire body; he runs them up and down, over and across. He's catching the drops on the tips of his pointy nails, and then his hands go up to his mouth; he licks the water off. You watch in fascination as he cleans himself off in that manner. All sorts of interesting thoughts chase each other around your head as you see his soft pink tongue flit in and out.  
  
You know if this goes on much longer you're bound to black out, and you definitely don't want to miss any of the fun.  
  
That's when a stranger walks in. He has sleek ebony hair that floats out behind him, clear amethyst eyes, and a peculiar mask covering the lower half of his face. He's wearing an unusual black jacket with a collar even more revealing than Hiei's unbuttoned shirt over tight black pants.  
  
"Mind if I join?" he murmurs.  
  
Kurama smiles crookedly and beckons him with a finger.  
  
You hear Hiei mutter "Karasu" under his breath. He doesn't take the stranger's intrusion as well as Kurama does. Probably doesn't want the competition.  
  
Karasu joins the other two on the stage and leers at you. You can't see his mouth, but you can tell he's grinning because of the treacherous way the corners of his extraordinary violet eyes slant upwards.  
  
And that's when . . .  
  
Ehehehe . . . I'm so evil. I've left you hanging . . . but you can write your own ending and leave it in your review! ^^ If I were to write an ending, it would probably go like this: "And this being way too much hotness for you to handle at one sitting, you burst into a ball of flames. The (hot) end."  
  
That turned out a lot longer than I originally wanted it. *sigh* What is it about the bad boys?  
  
And review, of course, because if you do, I'll send all three naughty, black-clad youkai after you as punishment - er, reward. ^^;; 


End file.
